30 November 2004

Lava lamp left on hot stovetop explodes, killing manKey quote ... "Why on earth he was heating a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know"

23 November 2004

Whole Stuffed Camel, no turkey for me.

Right Wing News-Top 25 Ann Coulter Quotes

25) "The New York Times review blamed (Kitty) Kelley's gossip mongering on "a cultural climate in which gossip and innuendo thrive on the Internet." Kelley has been writing these books for decades, so apparently, like the Texas Air National Guard, Kelley was on the Internet – and being influenced by it – back in the '70s. As I remember it, for the past few years it has been the Internet that keeps dissecting and discrediting the gossip and innuendo that the major media put out."

24) "Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy."

23) "The leaders of the modern Democratic Party, Hannity says, have made excuses for evil for so long that they cannot recognize evil anymore. The closest thing to it in their vocabulary would be "someone who wears fur." And of course, they recognize evil in the person of "George W. Bush," whom they see as the very essence of evil. In fact, Bush may be the only force of evil in the world liberals haven't wanted to appease."

22) "Reagan took an approach to the Cold War dramatically different from any other US President. To wit, he thought we should win. This was a fresh concept. At the time, it was widely ridiculed as a dangerous alteration of US policy. Only after it worked was Reagan's dangerous foreign policy recast as merely a continuation of the policies of his predecessors."

21) "While the form of treachery varies slightly from case to case, liberals always manage to take the position that most undermines American security."

20) "Even if corners were cut, (Iran-Contra) was a brilliant scheme. There is no possibility that anyone in any Democratic administration would have gone to such lengths to fund anti-Communist forces. When Democrats scheme from the White House, it's to cover up the President's affair with an intern. When Republicans scheme, it's to support embattled anti-Communist freedom fighters sold out by the Democrats."

19) "Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said any assumption that the US would not use force against North Korea would be a mistake. Such bellicosity frightens liberals. The left's reaction to nutty despots is: he might hit me, so I'll be nice. Rumsfeld's idea is: He'll hit me? Maybe I'll hit him. The beauty of that approach cannot be denied."

18) "The reason any conservative's failing is always major news is that it allows liberals to engage in their very favorite taunt: Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy is the only sin that really inflames them. Inasmuch as liberals have no morals, they can sit back and criticize other people for failing to meet the standards that liberals simply renounce. It's an intriguing strategy. By openly admitting to being philanderers, draft dodgers, liars, weasels and cowards, liberals avoid ever being hypocrites."

17) "For fifty years, America's foreign policy failures have not been problems of "national dialogue" or "preventative" action or the national psyche. There is one simple problem: Democrats can't handle foreign policy. You could almost forgive the Democrats for their spectacular record of failure in foreign policy. But then they have the audacity to cite their own derelict handling of the military to argue that it is always a fool's errand to deploy troops in defense of the nation. Remember Vietnam!"

16) "(Sheryl) Crow explained that the 'best way to solve problems is to not have enemies.' War solves that problem too: We won't have any enemies because we're going to kill them. Crow warned of 'huge karmic retributions that will follow.' She seemed not to understand that America going to war is huge karmic retribution. They killed three thousand Americans and now they're going to die."

15) "Liberals said Reagan was dangerous and his rhetoric scary. They ridiculed him as an idiot for believing the Soviet Union could be toppled. They opposed him on every front -- strengthening the military, aiding and arming anti-Communist rebels around the world, invading Grenada, preparing to win a nuclear war, building a nuclear shield, and waging a spiritual crusade against Soviet totalitarianism. Reagan said the Soviet Union was an evil empire and we would prevail. He called the ball, the shot, and the pocket, and he won the game. But now we're supposed to believe he was lucky. Liberals lie about Reagan's victory because when Reagan won the Cold War, he proved them wrong on everything they had done and said throughout the Cold War."

14) "'Stupid' means one thing: "threatening to the interests of the Democratic Party." The more Conservative the Republican, the more vicious and hysterical the attacks on his intelligence will be."

13) "(Mel) Gibson didn't insert Jews into ("The Passion of the Christ") for some Machiavellian, racist reason. Christ was a Jew crucified by Romans at the request of other Jews in Jerusalem. I suppose if Gibson had moved the story to suburban Cleveland and portrayed Republican logging executives crucifying Christ, the left would calm down. But it simply didn't happen that way."

12) "Democrats always assure us that deterrence will work, but when the time comes to deter, they're against it."

11) "The Great Satan is wearying of this reverse hegemony, in which little pipsqueak nations try to impose their pipsqueak values on us. Aren't we the ones who should be arrogantly oppressing countries that unaccountably do not have the death penalty?"

10) "Looking at the line-up of speakers at the (Democratic National) Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We'll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he'll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them."

9) "Much of the left's hate speech bears greater similarity to a psychological disorder than to standard political discourse. The hatred is blinding, producing logical contradictions that would be impossible to sustain were it not for the central element faith plays in the left's new religion. The basic tenet of their faith is this: Maybe they were wrong on facts and policies, but they are good and conservatives are evil. You almost want to give it to them. It's all they have left."

8) "No matter what the evidence, liberals insist that only their tender ministrations are capable of calming murderous dictators. Negotiation and engagement are said to "work" because, after Democrats spend years dillydallying with lunatic despots who threaten America, eventually a Republican president comes in and threatens aggressive military action. In a fascinating fifty-year pattern -- completely indiscernible to liberals -- murderous despots succumb to "engagement" shortly after a Republican president threatens to bomb them. This allows liberals to hail years of impotent negotiation and engagement as a foreign policy 'win'."

7) "Gore said foreigners are not worried about 'what the terrorist networks are going to do, but about what we're going to do.' Good. They should be worried. They hate us? We hate them. Americans don't want to make Islamic fanatics love us. We want to make them die. There's nothing like horrendous physical pain to quell anger. Japanese Kamikazes pilots hated us once, too. A couple of well-aimed nuclear weapons got their attention. Now they are gentle little lambs."

6) "If it were true that conservatives were racist, sexist, homophobic, fascist, stupid, inflexible, angry, and self-righteous, shouldn't their arguments be easy to deconstruct? Someone who is making a point out of anger, ideology, inflexibility, or resentment would presumably construct a flimsy argument. So why can't the argument itself be dismembered rather than the speaker's personal style or hidden motives? Why the evasions?"

5) "Hearing politicians tell us "we" can't "afford" a tax cut is like listening to a glutton tell you he can't "afford" a diet. In no other context do people talk about "paying for" money they don't have. I can't pay for your refusal to give me money because I need a yacht."

4) "Liberals hate religion because politics is a religion substitute for liberals and they can't stand the competition."

3) "Not exactly smashing stereotypes of liberals as mincing pantywaists, the left's entire contribution to the war effort thus far has been to whine."

2) "The common wisdom holds that "both parties" have to appeal to the extremes during the primary and then move to the center for the general election. To the contrary, both parties run for office as conservatives. Once they have fooled the voters and are safely in office, Republicans sometimes double-cross the voters. Democrats always do."

1) "In the corporeal world, international law is whatever the United States and Great Britain say it is."

16 November 2004

Joseph Palmer's Paper Airplane, for future reference.

SCI FI renews SG-1, Atlantis! w00t!

from here

The Man behind the FedEx logo
Interesting to me, maybe not to you ...

An interesting response to the pro-life/pro-choice thing, didn't change my mind from pro-life, but it is a good read. Personally my stance that there wouldn't be an abortion problem if people didn't have unprotected sex out of marriage. If you happen to get knocked up, its your own damn fault and you should deal with the consequences.

15 November 2004

Beavers Steal Cash, well sorta...

Here's something to get you started on Monday morning...

12 November 2004

nick you should like this one ...

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, 'Mummy, why is my name Petal?'
The mother replied, 'Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.'
The next baby walked up and asked, 'Mummy why is my name Rose?' she replied,
'Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.' The last baby walked up to her and said, 'BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY.'
The mother replied, 'Please be quiet, Fridge.'"

eBaby - Your Personal Baby Trading Community
Need a baby?

Man Opens Fire at Eiffel Tower; 3 Wounded
They probably deserved it.

Girl Suspended For 'Dangerous' Cartwheels At School
There has to be something more to this, doesn't there. Like maybe she was doing cartwheels to raise money to buy drugs. Or maybe they were cartwheels of death.

Girl in Pinata: Key Quote :"Inspectors found the girl when they removed several pinatas from the car and one seemed much heavier than the others"

New Fangled Interweb abbreviation of the day:

BDWoS: n. - 1. Brain Dead Waste of Space

I am glad the Jon kid got fired, he sure was a BDWoS.

Use it well.


Are those dudes just really big, or is Christina Agulmalaria just that short ... ?

Clientcopia : Stupid Client Quotes
A look into my world, I have recieve similar commments on a daily basis ...

Thanks to Dan "Dan" Mace for inviting me to gmail ...

Even though he is architecting applications all day long, he found time in his busy schedule to go through the stress and pain of sending me an invite email. As a special thanks, I hereby reward dan with the "You don't suck at the internet" award, an honor only bestowed upon those who don't suck at the internet. I dub thee Dan, l337 n3tz0r80r.

Comparative Physiology & Biomechanics Laboratory -> Beneath the surface - by Tobias Landberg

There is more than one way to unfreeze and skin a monkey, this is one of them.

Bluetooth Star Trek Communicator

Pretty Sweet ...

Cognitive play, annotated by myself ... from a friend with a cold sense of reality

Scene 1:

I'm at MA's House, talking to her Daughter (Who has a friend that says nothing) The daughter was cute, but was busy teaching me about something that was on the TV. I don't remeber what was on the TV, but it was important, it may have been in another language as her friend seemed intoxicated by the TV, but I didn't get it. The Daughter was just rolling around on the floor like an ape just shot with a tranq, you know, kinda uncoordinated but she was still explaining the TV to me. I don't seem to remember what was happening, so it must have not been important.

TV rots your brain and it's virtues are inconcievable to anyone but victims of "the palsy" and brain dead mutes.

Scene 2:

I then went inside and downstairs to ground level (again, don't ask how). MA's husband and Son were watching a television that the son was playing Video games on. The Son was retarded and could only play video games. The husband was eating chicken or something, and just staring at me, then the TV, then me, then the TV. Back and forth for quite a while. So I left.

Obviously retarded people can only play video games, but in a larger sense the lack control in their own lives but are rewarded with ample control in the video game world. Also, chicken makes you ADD.

Scene 3:

I'm riding my pedal powered bike down the road and realized I needed to stop and get more gasoline for it. I pull into the gas station and lay my bike on the ground. I whip out my credit card and try to get some gas. The pump doesn't take my credit card at first because I put it into the wrong slot. So then I put it in the correct reader slot, and select to purchase gasoline. Instead I buy two passes for "Valleys" which was a work out gym like Ballies world of fitness or something. I didn't want this, and was in a hurry because I was late for a wedding. I don't think it was my wedding, but it might have been. I just new I had to be there for some reason.

Now this makes sense, gas for a pedal powered bike is human energy, so a gym is the best way to maintain human energy.

So I go to the old lady in the gas station pump gaurd house thingy, and the lady says, "Hon, you will have to talk to the lady in the main store" and points. I walk over to the main store leaving my bike. No one could steal my bike because it was out of gasoline.

The store lady was Madeline Albright, and she was pissed off. She told me basically that I was screwed because I had bought the wrong thing and would have to do something about it. Evidently she was powerless to help.

In MA's infinite knowledge, she knew you didn't buy the wrong thing she just didn't want to hurt your feelings cause you'd obviously been talking to retards, ADD people and cerebral palsy victims all day.

11 November 2004

word that I didn't know before today:

To divide (a geographic area) into voting districts so as to give unfair advantage to one party in elections."

kermit the blog
Pretty cool Blog, excellent name, decent content (except for the odd looking, skinny necked baby -no offense-)

I would just like to start by saying that the majority of americans voted for President Bush, that does not mean (as liberal hollywood actors, etc and left wing crazies would have you believe) that the majority of americans are idiots, holy-rollers, and rednecks. If you are not comfortable that our system of voting is doing what is was meant to do (fairly elect a president by a majority of americans) you do not want to live in America, you want to live in Europe. And while you are getting a plane ticket to France, why don't you take rap music with you, I am pretty tired of it too.

Well Mr. Andrew is back in antarctica and i need something to do at work ... SO WE ARE STARTING BACK UP AGAIN !!!

(with polka dots, cause my wife likes 'em)

CBS Apologizes for Interrupting CSI; Will Rebroadcast Episode: "CBS NEWS interrupted the final minutes of Wednesday night's episode of CSI: NEW YORK in order to air a special report about the death of Yasser Arafat. CBS has apologized and says it will rebroadcast the episode, in its entirety FRIDAY at 9PM CENTRAL TIME."

That dernded Arafat is ruinin' my CSI agin ...

Thousand Robots: Jeopardy College Tournament Game Won by "1337" Student: "Jeopardy College Tournament Game Won by '1337' Student"

sweet hairy hippies!